Locked down kids? - Day #14 (7 April 2020) 21 day #Covid19 Lock down

Day #14 (7April 2020)

Locked down kids?

Our kids are indoors in a corona virus lock down, or so it seems. It’s been two weeks now. If you are asking, “So, what?”, then here is the perceived problem. The parents and sometimes grand parents are also locked down along with them! Many are calling this the crisis! “Stay at Home”, the Covid-induced slogan has locked down an estimated 1.25 billion children across 124 nations, impacting almost three-quarters of all enrolled students from pre-primary to higher education world-wide.

Parents in millions of homes, across the globe are supposedly facing a never before situation of engaging their ever-demanding children, even as many of them are in various stages of their struggle to keep their jobs. The juggling between the demanding child at home and the demanding remote boss at the Work-at-Home, is driving some parents to insanity. While the parents of the majority of children, already facing loss of their livelihood, is in no position to engage with anybody, leave alone children! I am talking about the daily wage labourers, farm workers, the petty producers, small enterprise owners and workers, even the barbers in the village centre.

Newspapers, websites, social media are all full of advises to parents, teachers and even Govt officials as to how we can keep our children engaged with ‘fruitful’, ‘educative’ or ‘entertaining’ activities. Paediatricians, counsellors and parenting consultants are having their best of times, especially in the developed nations and urban centres, advising parents and children on adjusting to the changed situation. They are asking parents to “talk to their children” about the situation, “set up routines and schedules”, use this opportunity to “develop critical life skills”, get them to “sign up for online courses”, and encourage them “to develop hobbies” and so on.  

I grew inquisitive. I wanted to know what the kids of some of my good friends are doing. So, I called them up, spoke to their father or mother and even the kids. Without any prejudice, let me tell you what I heard, from some of them.

Achu has very mindful parents, both working, and living in Thiruvananthapuram. He is completing his 10^th standard. He also has a younger sister. The lock down also brought into their family, a grand father, whose full day schedule seems to be watching serials in various TV channels. The mother and father, have the luxury of Working from Home. What does he do? He had three more exams to get over before the lock down struck. So, he devotes couple of hours for the revision, some time for reading, and the larger part playing PUBG with friends online. He also watches downloaded movies on TV. But since his parents have a very sharp eye on him, they regulate him quite effectively. Does he get bored? “Yes”, he says, “at times”. His sister, a sprightly girl, with a shrewd smile is demanding on both Achu and parents. So, when I called up Achu, he was in the midst of setting up a tent for his sister at home. That sounded very engaging. His sister at other times is watching TV, but is in a non-stop competition with their grandfather for the remote control!

Arundathi is of the same age, in the same city, has working parents, and is very happy they are both caught on a “Stay at Home”. She and her brother, an Engineering student is all busy with whatever they can do. So, this ranges from watching TV, going online on social media, talking to friends, some reading, and so on. But the proud mother is also glad that they are both doing things that they like and probably good at. “She paints, and he claims he writes!, the mother told me. And the family is also trying to use the small patch of land they have in their compound to plant some vegetables. Over all, they are fine.

But Theju comes from a slightly different league. This 13 year old daughter of a well known painter-artist father, and a resourceful sharp mother, is sort of a great combination of the two. She has an elder brother who has just finished his 12^th exams, who is most of the time glued to the online, like most children of his age. They live in Bangalore, and they literally rushed out of the city at the right moment to get back to their home village in Kannur. Very diligently, they went on a 14 day self-quarantine, during which Theju was a restless animal. She had to keep off her best friend and relative Raaghu, who lives just 5 steps away on the same green, wooded homestead of more than an acre, and who is the primary reason for her coming to the village home. And she had to keep away from her for 14 days! Now that the quarantine days are over, the parents rarely see her. She comes home for “essential needs” only, which is food, bath and so on. The large ground is their play ground, and the two have such a lot of things to talk, share and play, that they are actually short of time. Very rarely are they seen inside the house. The mother was telling me, “I don’t know what these two girls have to talk so much; everyday looks like they had just met after years”. How many of us were like this when we were young? Infact, many of us, including me, even at this age, are like this.

Then here is a trio – Sachu, Ananthoo and Venu, all live in a family, that still has a good semblance of a joint family. They are 10 years, 11 years and 17 years old respectively. And their lock down is in their paternal home with quite a lot of open spaces and a homestead that is so much full of trees and plants, and they have so much for play and fun. So, its all the backyards, cricket, watching movies and like all children of their age, the mobile phones. The parents do have some unsaid aspirations, which does not seem to have any influence on the kids, during a lock down. After all, these are not holidays!

While we looked at multi-child cases, I thought we must look at one-child cases as well!.

Sidhu is 12, and lives with his parents in a 6^th floor of a flat complex in the city. A very bubbly boy, with only his father working in an IT firm. His father is glued into his laptop most part of the day and night, and life is the same otherwise. Sidhu has a dotting mother and the lock down according to the mother, seems to have made her his best friend. That sounded very transformative! So, there is food, games, and lots of informal study, which he does not seem to be complaining about. But he has an issue – all children in the community have stopped playing in the park, and are all locked up. He does not like that at all!

Ponnu is 9 and a single child of working parents. They live in the outskirts of Thiruvananthapuram. Her school was closed and just before the lock down was announced, her parents had taken her to her mother’s paternal home at Haripad. She loves spending days with her grandparents. Now she is stuck there or so the parents believe. Ponnu told me she is playing the whole day, with her grandmother. She then went on to tell me the games “kannukettikali ”, “sat”, “cycling”, “oonjaal”, “odikkali” and so on. She said she is on a holiday for two months. And she is eating some good food.

Now, comes Vani, again a single child in a farming family from Wyanad. She is 9 years old. Her father is a full time paddy farmer, and a very very busy character at that. He also runs a farmer producer company and quite busy socially as well. Her mother makes the home, but is also a wonderful maker of wooden artefacts. Her lock down day is not very different from any other holiday. The daily chores, where she joins her parents includes milking the cow, tending to the plants, helping in the harvest and so many other things that all family farms have. But she reads, watches movies and steals those rare moments to browse through the photos and videos in her mother’s mobile phone. Is she bored, I ask her. “Sometimes, yes”, she says, “when I ask my parents to play with me, and they don’t.”

After word :

It’s a beautiful world of children. Growing up is never boring. If they feel boredom, we probably haven’t taught them the bright side of “doing nothing”. And that is not their problem, it’s our problem.

Once is a while, “Do nothing!”. Happy Parenting!!